R v Robert Price [Defence proof]

My name is Robert Price. I am charged with unlawful wounding. I intend to plead guilty as I acknowledge that I realised that picking up the knife and striking the victim's hand was a dangerous act. I swear that I didn't intend to injure him. I don't really know what I was thinking. I am only grateful it wasn't a sharp steak knife.
The man who was injured was behaving like an idiot. He had turned the television onto a really boring politics programme which was on really loudly. I went and asked him if I could turn it over but he didn't answer. He was completely absorbed . I switched over the television to something a bit less boring. We then got involved in this stupid to-ing and fro-ing swapping channels from his programme to my programme.
I can't really remember why, but I know that there was a moment when I thought that I'd had enough of this man and wanted to make him behave himself. I picked up the knife from his plate (he was eating pie and chips, I think) and poked him in the hand with it. The next thing I remember was that there was quite a lot of blood. This shocked me and I ran to the toilet to get him some toilet paper. As I came back, I felt a sharp punch to my face. It was Cliff, the barman. He told me to sit quietly whilst the police were called. I did as I was told.
When the police turned up I was fully co-operative. I admitted what I did to the policeman at the scene and at the police station.
I am very sorry for what I did. I am terrified of prison. I have only ever been in trouble once before when I was cautioned for shoplifting. No one seems to have realised this and I don't know what to do about that.

SIGNED:…Rob Price…